Smoked salmon for breakfast...not in Cambodia

File this under first world problems, but I can't get a decent western breakfast in Cambodia. I rarely want one, anyway. I'm not a breakfast person and if I am going to eat breakfast, I'd rather have bai sach chrouk than toast and tea, anyway.

But once every few months I want a breakfast that includes smoked salmon. As I begin my rant, I'd like to say that smoked salmon is available here, at Lucky supermarket. It's $4 for a frozen package that's from Norway and quite good. It contains enough to cover a good six or eight bagels without skimping. Yet for some reason the expat/NGO dumpholes act like this stuff is as rare as a Cambodian orphan without any living parents.

 Over the weekend I went to Metro for brunch. Metro is a place that activates about a dozen pet peeves in me, being a hangout of overpaid expats and the Khmer riche, both of whom have the capacity to break me out in hives. But, they have a pretty good brunch.

I ordered the eggs benedict with smoked salmon and it was beautiful. I can't deny that. But when I took my first bite, I was overwhelmed with the taste of chemicals.

They had spread margarine all over the English muffins, I realized. And not a nice American margarine, this was straight out of some Chinese toothpaste factory. Further inspection revealed that the Hollandaise sauce itself was not made with actual butter, but this same low-quality margarine. To add insult to injury, the two quarter-sized pieces of lox were doused in the stuff, and the meal cost more than 8 times what a nice plate of bai sach chrouk would.

So that was Sunday. Then this morning I was at Java Cafe, another hot spot for NGO workers in biz casual talking loudly on their mobile phones and drinking lattes. I was just there to drop something off, but after having a long conversation with someone about how pointless it is to eat western food in Cambodia,  I gazed longingly at the bagels. Is it too much to hope for a big Jew-y bagel and lox? The answer, unfortunately is yes.

I ordered the bagel with capers and shallots. They brought me a bagel with one slice of salmon on one side of the bagel and no cream cheese. I went and asked for cream cheese, and after a while, was finally given a shmear. It was okay, but the salmon wasn't as nice as the frozen stuff at Lucky, and the niggardly portion wasn't enough to cover both halves of the bagel.

When I went to pay, I found out that I had been charged an extra $1 for said shmear of cream cheese. Same price as a plate of bai sach chrouk and a bowl of soup.

Here's the breakdown:
Bagel, lox and cream cheese - $2.75
Bagel, lox, capers and shallots - $3
cream cheese - $1

So the addition of capers and shallots to the bagel with lox and cream cheese costs $1.25, an increase of 45%. Keep in mind, shallots cost less than 1 cent each here, and capers are available in bulk quantities for less than in the US. And before you tell me how lucky I am to get a bagel for $4, restrain yourself until you've moved to Cambodia and dealt with all that entails.

Why does this bagel bother me so much? Is it just because I am broke and resentful? Perhaps. But the problem with Cambodia is that nothing makes sense. There is no obvious logic to the prices, there is no one to ask and there's no point in trying to find out more.

In trying to figure out why this bagel irritated me so much, I came to the conclusion that I was irked that they bothered to serve it at all. If you're going to make a bagel with lox, do it right. Don't leave out the cream cheese. Don't only put salmon on one side of the bagel. Go big or go home. I'll pay double for a totally delicious onion bagel with cream cheese, onion, capers and lox and I won't complain about the price. But I will complain about the price (and everything else) when I go home unfulfilled.

The moral of this story is if you're going to bother with western breakfasts, the DIY kind are always the best. Otherwise just enjoy that bai sach chrouk I can't stop banging on about.

Café Metro No. 271 St. 148, Phnom Penh
Java Cafe 56 Sihanouk Blvd, Phnom Penh

Another breakfast in Cambodia

For my first two weeks in Cambodia I ate rice every day for breakfast. I didn't have eyes for noodle soup, I was too busy feasting on random meats and rice and pickled cucumbers. There's no other way to slice it, this is a wonderful way to wake up. Especially for just $1.

Since that time I have tried to restrain myself, as I figure I have two other meals a day to eat rice. I don't understand how people here metabolize 5-10 cups of rice a day, but I commend them for it.

Meal above from the infamous noodle shop on the corner of Street 5 and Street 136, Phnom Penh.

Breakfast in Cambodia: Khmer noodles

One of my favorite traditional breakfasts in Cambodia is nom banh chok, or Khmer noodles. A heaping bowl of noodles, gravy and vegetables served with a few chilis on the side. Like most food in Cambodia, it's served at room temperature, and often in a plastic bag.

There are usually two kinds of gravy, one that is made with fish sauce, lemongrass, garlic, salt, sugar and fish of some sort. My cultural ambassador (read: my co-worker) started to get flustered when I was grilling her around this so what I am telling you may be completely incorrect. The other gravy choice is called green curry, so I'm going to assume it's probably a green curry.

The noodles are made from rice--Eating Asia has a really interesting post on how they make the noodles for nom banh chok. Cambodians are serious about their nom bahn chok noodles. I have been told several times that Khmers invented these noodles and that many other countries have stolen the idea. I've met a few noodle makers and it's not particularly lucrative and very physically demanding. I don't envy them the job, but I'm eternally grateful that they do it.

The dish is served with shredded cucumber, banana flowers, water lily stem, long beans, lime wedges and a pile of vegetable leaves that I cannot identify.

Living in Asia has given me a new freedom with breakfast. Cereal, phhhht. I'd rather eat nom banh chok.

What's for breakfast in Manila?

A heart attack on a plate, that's what is. But if you're going to die over breakfast, might as well do it with pork that's been cured in pineapple juice and a fried egg.

Tocino is just one of the many meat products served for breakfast in the Philippines. It's most often served with rice and a fried egg, thus earning its place in the silog cannon.

Silog is a combination of the word sinangag (meaning fried rice) and itlog (egg) and is used to refer to any of the myriad of breakfasts that are served with rice and egg. The rices vary--sometimes they are garlic or pineapple fried rice and other times they are plain, served with a bottle of banana ketchup or sweet hot sauce.



So the meal pictured up top with tocino is technically called "tocino, sinangag at itlog" but is lazily shortened to "tocilog." Other commonly-served silogs include: chixsilog, hotdogsilog, burgersilog, nuggetsilog, bangsilog and baconsilog.

I have to admit that I've ordered tocilog more than a few times over the last few weeks. It's a delicious, if artery-clogging, alternative to wheat germ and probiotic yogurt--not that you'd be seeing any of that schlop in the Philippines.

Chinese breakfast

This may come as a surprise, but in China the most popular thing to have for breakfast is Chinese food. Many roundeyes can stomach eating Chinese food for two meals a day, but when it comes to breakfast, they draw the line. And really, can you blame them?

(Obviously, I don't feel this way myself. I've always disliked breakfast and most of the foods associated with it, especially cold cereal. Blech.)

But there are a few Chinese foods that even the Westerners can get down with for breakfast. I was lucky enough to be served both of them at the Naxi family guesthouse in Tiger Leaping Gorge.



These are two of my favorite dishes in China, and are perfect for breakfast: egg and tomato stir fry and congee. The egg and tomato dish is so simple and truly delicious. Fry some tomatoes, fry some eggs, add salt, stir them together and add scallions if you wish. Can be served with rice or noodles, but you can skip that if you're looking for more of a breakfast buzz. This is one of the meals that I will definitely be making once I get home.

Congee (more on that in a few days) is a porridge that is usually made from rice, but the one above was made from maize. This one reminded me of a thinner version of one of my favorite childhood breakfasts, cream of wheat.

So rejoice, white people! You can stop ordering those overpriced and underwhelming English breakfasts at your hotel--hit the streets and get some egg and tomato and congee already.